Pirates 2008: Signature Loss

I realize that I'm departing from the stated theme week with this post, but due to the time-sensitive nature of the topic, I really had no choice.  Although we're only a little more than one-third of the way through the MLB season, I'd like to claim that the Pirates 7-6 loss to the Nationals last night represents the signature loss for the season.  Here's my case:

The lowly Nationals (and that's coming from a Pirates fan) came into last night's game sporting the lowest batting average in the bigs and having hit the fewest home runs of any club.  They'd have the worst winning percentage on the Senior Circuit were it not for the existence of your defending National League champion Rockies (whose run to the World Series last fall grows in apparent flukiness every day).  Naturally (following last night's losing spectacular), the Pirates are 1-4 against the Nationals this year.

Supposedly, the game was infused with significance (at least by Pirates' fans' standards) because a win would pull the Pirates within 1 game of .500.  Although you don't get any trophies for sporting a .500 record, you'd never guess it by listening to the Pirates players or beat reporters, whose obsession with the apparently magic number rivals Hurley's fixation with 4 8 15 16 23 42.  It's everywhere, dude.

While I remain dubious about the significance of .500 (especially in June), here are some numbers that do matter:  3-0, 4-1, 6-5.  These are the leads that the Pirates held after the first, sixth, and eighth innings, respectively.  And, how, pray tell, did the Pirates manage to blow these leads?  Mainly through the long ball.  Ronnie Belliard homered for the Nats in the 5th, then Dmitri Young, Jesus Flores, and Ronnie Belliard (again) hit solo shots in the seventh inning to tie the game at 4 runs apiece.  Offensive juggernaut Belliard added an RBI single in the eighth to give the Nationals a one-run advantage, 5-4.

Which brings us to the point in the game where most past Pirates clubs would have rolled over and died.  This year's edition has a little fight in it, however.  Sure, it's not enough to actually win games, but I'm sure the local TV advertisers who routinely buy 30-second spots in the late innings are pleased with the development.  In the home half of the eighth, Nady singled in a run before Doug Mientkiewicz hit a sacrifice fly to deep right to put the Bucs back on top, 6-5.  (While we're here, I can't help but think that Mientkiewicz and Jason Michaels are collecting big league checks with the Pirates merely because they hate losing so much.  Their baseball skills aren't exactly overwhelming, but apparently the front office felt it was worthwhile to have these guys on board to counteract most of the roster's apparent indifference to losing.  I suspect we won't have to wait much longer before a youtube video surfaces in which Jason Michaels is sitting peacefully at his locker before muttering, "You won't like me when I lose...", at which point he turns into a large green individual and shoves Adam LaRoche up Zach Duke's butt.  Of course, if you look closely at the same video, you'll probably see Jose Bautista in the background reminding a recent AAA call-up that he'll collect the same paycheck regardless of whether the Bucs win or lose.)  That was a very large parenthetical statement.

Where were we?  Oh, yes, the Pirates had a 6-5 lead heading into the top of the ninth, which meant that Matt Capps was summoned from the pen to try to nail down his sixteenth save in as many tries.  Capps always scares the swaddled baby Jesus out of me because he begins nearly every pitch sequence with a 92 mph fastball right down Broadway.  Which means that he records a lot of first pitch outs that travel to the warning track.  But it kinda backfired last night.  After recording two quick outs, Elijah Dukes (who might slaughter a ball girl for sport before the year is out) nearly knocked down the wall in right center with a double on a first-pitch fastball.  On the next pitch -- another first pitch fastball --  Lastings Milledge mashed a homer into the left center bleachers for a 7-6 Nats advantage.  The Pirates went quietly on 10 pitches in the home half of the ninth.

So, why do I claim this is the signature loss?  First, it was to an awful club.  Second, the Nationals -- who entered the game with the fewest home runs in the league -- stroked 5 long balls during the course of the game.  Third, it was Matt Capps first blown save of the season, continuing a long and storied tradition of players taking turns letting the rest of the team down.  But, perhaps most importantly, it was that the Pirates battled back from a late deficit to reclaim the lead before they ultimately decided to renew their lifelong love affair with losing.  So, maybe there is a way to tie this post into wedding week... it's like the Bucs renewed their vows last night:  We, Pirates, take thee, Losing...